"The more you stretch them, the more they grow": same-sex marriage and the wrestle with heteronormativity

• Main Author: Scott, Lwando
• Other Authors: Moore, Elena
• Format: Doctoral Thesis
• Language: English
• Published: Faculty of Humanities 2020
• Subjects: Sociology
• Online Access: http://hdl.handle.net/11427/30912

With the understanding that marriage is a historically heteronormative institution that was (and in many respects continues to be) underpinned by heteronormativity, in this doctoral thesis I engage the ways that same-sex couples wrestle with heteronormativity in marriage. I move beyond the assimilationist vs. radicalisation debate that was central in same-sex marriage conversations characterised by the disagreement between Sullivan (1996) and Warner (2000). The assimilationist vs. radicalisation debate is too neat and relies on a binary logic of either or, whereas the experiences of same-sex couples in Cape Town, South Africa demonstrate a much more complicated picture. I argue that while same-sex marriage does not radically change the institution of marriage, it does provide a challenge to systems of dominance such a heteronormativity and has a transformational impact on the interpersonal relationships of same-sex couples. It is an interpersonal transformation, that with time, could possibly change the institution. Through marriage, same-sex couples provide alternative ways of reading samesex intimacy, readings that challenge the prejudice and stereotypes built on homonegativity. In wrestling with the norm, in challenging dominant gender and sexuality systems through marriage, same-sex couples are engaged in a process of stretching. They stretch themselves as they become more assertive in making claims about their sexuality, they also stretch those around them to become more open to the possibilities of same-sex intimacy. Ultimately samesex marriage provides alternative ways of reading familiar categories like “husband” and “wife” and reminds us that only our imagination is the limit in the infinite possibilities of relationship construction.