| Summary: | The present study explored how seven women experienced having a mother with dementia. The focus was not specifically on the experience of care-giving and so daughters who lived separately from their mothers were selected. Thematic analysis was used to examine how they made sense of their experience by analysing verbatim transcripts of their interviews. The study provided personal and intimate accounts from the daughters and two main themes of bewilderment and transformed relationships were identified. These highlighted the daughters’ struggle to recognise and contend with the changes in their mothers. The context in which the themes arose appeared to be dominated by a prevailing fear associated with dementia. This seemed to be widely experienced by the mothers, the daughters and perhaps mirrored the prevalence in wider society. The experiences described were, at times, distressing for the daughters and there was a perceived lack of professional help to support both mothers and daughters through the changes. However, it was noted that some daughters also experienced positive, transformative ways to make thoughtful new connections with their mothers and aspects of the relationship were described as having improved. Therefore, for these daughters the experience appeared to be painful and distressing but also memorable and special. The new connections, that some daughters achieved, could be further explored, as this may help daughters and other extended family members to achieve more positive and rewarding relationships with their mothers and other relatives with dementia.
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