| Summary: | This is an account of my personal journey of struggles, reflections and realizations as a care provider for individuals who live with cancer. Using the autoethnography method, I asked the very personally relevant question, “How do I understand my role as an emerging health care provider (HCP) to immigrant and young adults with cancer?” In other words, where do I fit in? How can I be the most effective caregiver possible? This telling of my journey incorporates my own experiences as well as the experiences of those who live and work with cancer. The journey begins almost a decade ago with an unexpected phone call that sends me to the bedside of a family member with cancer, and proceeds to my more recent experiences as a family caregiver, volunteer and counselling student and researcher. Drawing on multiple data sources, I explore the concept of health care provider, the desire to protect others and wear masks, and my own feelings of regret and guilt. Although this thesis presents my own realizations and insights, I hope that readers of these stories find resonance or dissonance with their own experiences, allowing them to make more sense of their own roles and circumstances. === Education, Faculty of === Educational and Counselling Psychology, and Special Education (ECPS), Department of === Graduate
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