Eternal Girl’s Coming of Age Ceremony - Self-Narrative Study of the Fatherless Daughter

• Main Authors: CHIN, JUI-WAN, 秦睿婉
• Other Authors: WU, YUH-YIN
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2018
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/e2exm7

碩士 === 國立臺北教育大學 === 心理與諮商學系碩士班 === 107 === Based on object relations theory and the puella aeterna archetype in Jungian psychology, this self-narrative study explored the potential development of object relations, related experiences, and its influence on an individual whose father was deceased and who was raised by a single mother. This study described the mental conditions of the author regarding her relationships with her parents, namely the loss of father during adolescence and desire and disappointment regarding her maternal attachment when growing up. While writing about these mental conditions, the author constantly experienced inner conflict and engaged in self talks. The author then understood the self in the relationships concerned, redefining her position and reinterpreting her experience in these relationships. Through dialogues with her deceased father, the author reconstructed her self-subjectivity as well as her relationship with her father. By reviewing her relationship with her mother, the author came to understand the disappointment in not fulfilling her desire for attachment. She thus recognized that relationships are limited not only by death but also among living people and that both life and death are limited by emotional connections. The author challenged the major argument that puella aeterna does not accept limits; moreover, she stopped idealizing relationships and reconnected with reality, eventually maturing. The findings demonstrated that the difficulty of grieving the loss of a parent–child relationship is primarily because of the overwhelming feeling of a double loss. The first loss is the death of the father, which is irreversible; the other arises from the inevitably unfulfilled demands on the mother, which results from the excessive need for affection in a single-parent situation. This study discovered that the author’s development of the puella aeterna possibly resulted from considerably frustrated object relations in the past, during which time the author prevented herself from experiencing excessive losses by idealizing relationships. To recover, the author abandoned her puella aeterna by confronting her actual losses. Finally, the author evaluated the possible limitations of this study and provided a conclusion that may serve as the beginning for future self-exploration.