| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立清華大學 === 教育心理與諮商學系 === 107 === This paper records I as a young man who decided to step into counseling and determined to become a helping worker, trying to review my own inner and childhood experience and sort out inner emotions through storytelling.
The initial writing came from the loneliness, which cannot be understood. However, as I continued to write, I dug deeper and deeper, though its brokenness shut me out. Eventually the result revealed that they are all relate to my own childhood and family.
The family secrets in the past have evolved into distortions of the relationship, which have brought about the unseen damage at the bottom. The damage has become the fear and anger that can only be expressed in the night with silent tears or through dreams. In order to avoid harm, I fled from relationship and interaction; however, I still drifted between individual and society because of filial duty. Finally, through the connections of experiences, the shape of family was brought together and indicated that my own childhood experience is indeed an injury. The scars and violence are veiled under the cultural reason and become an extension of power and discipline, is the fact of unrevealed family conflict from Taiwan traditional culture.
At the end of the text, I continued to tidy up my own life and tried to sort out and clarify the context of the individual and the family through the literature. It is a kind of re-seen and respect by regaining the personal subjectivity. The transformation of reauthorization is not only an experience of forgiveness, but also a hope perspective for the future. I hope that I can become a helper who can identify the social context and, under the perseverant and clear circumstance, I can be maturer and able to go forward.
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