Summary: | 碩士 === 高雄醫學大學 === 性別研究所碩士班 === 106 === Abstract
During childhood, Tiny P had once had a sexual event with her father, which is regarded as “incest” in the views of most people. Because the only appropriate sex in a family should be between a husband and a wife in this society, the sex event happened between Tiny P and her father became beyond her comprehension. After adulthood, Tiny P tries to understand this experience. Tiny P and I do detailed dialogue continuous by narrative research. Then I help her to write and tell her own interpretation of this sex event. This thesis is a co-creative work by Tiny P and I. The sexual narratives of Tiny P are formed with my gender research inquiry and Tiny P’s subjectivity experience. By story-telling about the sex event, Tiny P finds her own voices of sexual subjectivity.
The sexual narratives of Tiny P start from questioning the childhood sex event with her father. Tiny P forgot this event before she reached the age of 25 and she kept silent when the memory first appeared. At the beginning of this inquiry, we used “Incest and Domestic sexual abuse” to understanding this event. But it made Tiny P felt unhappy. Tiny P regarded this discourse put Tiny P and her father into two opposite ends, a victim and an offender. This bias not only limits the possible diverse explanation of this event but also simplifies the complicated life experiences of associated people. Detailed dialogues between the researcher and Tiny P continued. By looking into Tiny P’s fears, we decipher the social meanings of forgetting and silence while at the same time, to rethink the event by looking at the agency of Tiny P. And in order to understand the development of Tiny P’s sex value, the researcher explores the sex and gender structures of her family-of-origin. Finally, this thesis focuses on the sexual subjectivity of Tiny P. To inquire Tiny P as a child and also an adolescent girl, what shapes her sexuality and how does she regain her subjectivity through telling sexual stories?
The sexual narratives of Tiny P deconstruct the social restriction of female sexuality. It makes us think outside of the opposite of victim or offender, empowers women to find her own voices, and show her subjectivity. Last but not least, being a junior high school teacher, the researcher reflects the education locale throughout processing Tiny P’s sexual narratives. I contemplate about how to help the children fight against gendered sexual constructions, hoping the children will be empowered.
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