A good enough mother with a heart of freedom: Embrace the true self

• Main Authors: CAI,YI-NING, 蔡宜寧
• Other Authors: 李島鳳
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2016
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/mrg858

碩士 === 實踐大學 === 家庭研究與兒童發展學系家庭諮商與輔導碩士班 === 104 === The aim of this current research is for the author to honestly accept each part of herself through playing the role of "mother" enable herself to cooperate with her husband in parenting. In the research process, the author uses the medias such as writing, sand tray and art materials to review the life story of her unhappy childhood. The author then discovers the way she was treated by her parents affects her self-esteem; in the never-ending process of pursuing perfection, she lost the ability to accept her true self, which leads the frustration with her husband in parenting. In the process of writing and art creating, besides of exploring the influences of the background of the author's parents to herself; it also helps the author to accept the limitation as a human, to let go of the expectations for a certain role, and then facing her low achievement in school life and mistreated by family of origin affect her family life nowadays. The author works through her pain in the past, re-experiences her emotion, embraces her true feelings and makes these experiences into the power of growth. The author enables to put down the expectation for perfection to become a good enough mother with a heart of freedom. The current research uses Flick's self-narrative method, through the process of mimicry, sorting the experiences back forth. Review the expectations of her parents from different point of views and let go of self-blaming, make peace with herself. Through the self-acceptance and growth to have a more thorough differentiation with her parents and then be free to play various roles. The research outcome has shown that early childhood experiences in the family of origin affect ones' current family lifestyle. Through the parenting process, the author discovers the anxiety of cooperation with her husband came from 1. The fear of the child will get hurt growing up and 2. The unfulfilled expectations from the family of origin was underneath the beautiful blueprint of her spouse relationship, the perfectionism had made the author's early childhood difficult; therefore the uneasy feeling is hidden in working with husband in parenting. Through the process of reflection, the author rebuilds the blueprint of the spouse relationship, reviews the effects of her unsolved expectations, embraces the pain and makes peace with herself. Break the image of the perfect mother, become a whole person.