| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立臺北教育大學 === 生命教育教學碩士學位班 === 103 === In this study, the self-narrative approach was adopted to present the life story of an illegitimate daughter who sought self-liberation from the life experience and the life experience of her parents and herself. As an illegitimate daughter, the author attempted to use this narrative to have a more comprehensive presentation of her life experience, situations, and personal feelings. Through self-perception and reflection, she progressively analyzed and interpreted her life story. She offered her insight into the cultural context in which she and her parents grew up. It was hoped that through this time series analysis, she could present how she had strived to escape from the life cocoon in which she was physically and mentally bound.
The author had been extremely bothered by her past experience of being humiliated for being an illegitimate child. She doubted herself and couldn't, trust others, There was lots of confusion in her life. Now, she hopes to find an answer to all her questions, bring back what she really is, and identify the meanings of her life. During the narrative process, with low self-esteem and self-hatred for identity﹐ the author figured out by degrees that “illegitimate children” are the sacrifices of a patriarchal society with strong gender inequity. In her feelings of being hurt and abandoned during childhood, she gradually saw and understood the situations she was faced with and why she had to sacrifice herself for survival. She decided to accept all the imperfection in life and moved on to regain the lost self-esteem and recognize the meanings of her being.
After a narrative analysis, the author clarified all the questions in life. She changed from being completely resistant to being understanding of her mother. She recognized her aspirations and finally came to realize that the motherly love she has longed for will never be given. As she decided not to be mired by entangled relations, she was freed. Through a review of her life, she found that love is the cure for all and decided to make up what she has lost in the family of her own. A new relationship then emerged.
Through narrative and reflection, the author realized why she persisted to become a teacher. At last, she firmly believed that “being a teacher” has a unique meaning for her. Because of love, she could be brought back to life and reborn. Therefore, she hoped to be a guide for those still trapped in the life cocoon, helping them escape from the cocoon on their own.
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