| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立新竹教育大學 === 教育心理與諮商學系碩士班 === 103 === The "Superiority" Journey of a Woman: From Ingratiate Themselves to Pursuit of Perfect Self, then Reconcile with Myself
Abstract
It’s a long journey to reconcile with myself, my own body and my family by narrative. Through self-narrative I tried to answer these questions: “Who am I?”, “Why do I exist?” and “What makes me cannot be good?” During the journey, my self-identity and self-affirming is gradually coming into being.
In the past, I struggled with my weight, always felt distress and furious due to the fact that my home and others make me feel inferiority and pain. Thus, I wanted to worthwhile by losing weight, having double eyelid surgery and pulling out teeth roughly. However, I still not gain the confidence, even worse by time went by.
At first, I felt resent to my body-image and my family as I am a victim. By means of shared my experience with others, read the references, I started to realize I am not one anymore. I learned to embrace myself and grow up step by step, and found the working class, Hakka families and the mass media influence me intensively. Finally I opened my mind and encountered myself; by releasing the anger and experience the sorrow had been repressed. I could forgive my family, others, and myself. This is a life story that starts in trauma, reborn with trauma, and reconciles with it through turned to myself.
By self-narrative, I found I can understand about the people who have been injured, but struggled between self-denial and desire to survive. I wish I could help the people as in my case, who are hard to confident themselves could face their inner-self and go forward to reconciling.
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