| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立聯合大學 === 客家語言與傳播研究所 === 103 === In a society dominated by men, women tend to be adjunct. As the saying goes, “A married daughter is like spilt water.” Nonetheless, with the change of certain social settings, such as the increase of the number of families with only one child and the prevalence of the concept of gender equality, the stable patriarchal social system has been slightly shaken recently. Men and women form a family through marriage, and thus various problems occurred. In the past, it was the problems between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law; nowadays, the problems between sons-in-law and parents-in-law come into being.
This thesis manifests itself as a part of Men’s Study. The approach adopted is in-depth interview with five husbands who live with their wives’ families. By investigating the motives for the sons-in-law to live with their wives’ families, the problems that follow, and the psychological mechanism with which the sons-in-law adapt themselves, this thesis strive to be a reference for the men who intend to live with their wives’ families in the future.
The result of the research shows that the reasons why the men are willing to live with their wives’ families are as follows: practical and economical concerns; a choice of consideration for their wives; a way to avoid the troublesome problems between daughters and mothers-in-law; the simplicity of the wives’ family members; the long working hours and peculiar characteristic of the sons-in-law’s jobs.
The problems that occur after the sons-in-law live with the parents-in-law are: totally different lifestyles; different eating habits; the sons-in-law do not have private space and their privacy is not respected; the mothers-in-law do not agree with the sons-in-law’s daily schedules; diverse systems of values between mothers-in-law and sons-in-law; language barrier of Southern Min dialect and Hakka.
The psychological mechanism with which the sons-in-law adapt themselves to the wives’ families contains: follow the wife’s heart and manifest himself as a “new good man;” suppress himself only to be obedient to the parents-in-law; a caged bird in a dilemma; force himself to accept the condition; the condition changes with the heart, so they find other things as distractions.
The goal of this thesis is to provide the men who intend to live with their wives’ family with a reference. Though it is not possible to avoid the process of adaptation, they might try to reduce the time needed. Hence, this thesis suggests that: the sons-in-law should be active instead of inactive, and the condition might change with the heart; they should visit the wives’ families frequently before marriage, so as to know more about their lifestyles and to form a close relationship with them; the notion of gender equality should be put into practice by way of education; follow the example of Japanese sons and parents-in-law, who live in a house with “one main gate but two porches,” and “same entrance, different lifestyles.”
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