Going through the lust to find a way home---- A coming-out gay son's narrative story

• Main Authors: Chen, Chien-Hao, 陳建豪
• Other Authors: Ho, Ying-Chyi
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2013
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/81375554914673079861

碩士 === 中國文化大學 === 心理輔導學系 === 101 === This study focuses on the process of improving the parent-child relationship after the children come out. The research method adopted here is self-narration. By tracing my own homosexuality identities and gay relationship experiences, I learn to accept myself and understand where everyone stands in the parent-child relationship. Then I transform the understanding and realization from writing into power to improve my own parent-child relationship. There are four findings in the study: 1) Life experiences can not be separated. The opportunities to grow come from the interaction of different contexts of life, such as self-identification, homosexual partnership and parent-child relationship. (2) To Build and consolidate the closeness between parents and children, it first takes reframing their ideas of conflicts. The two parties need to build consensus, face the conflicts with reason and recognize the positive meaning of it. Then they need to create a safe atmosphere and build up a sense of trust in their emotions to accommodate the happening of conflicts. All these are preparation to embrace the honest and straightforward interaction between the two parties, so that the true emotions can flow spontaneously. Finally, the two parties need to have the ability and willingness to accept the true emotions from each other. (3) Through self-narration and writing, one can increase the ability of psychological displacement and learn to separate "the present me" and "the past me", which facilitates self-acceptance. (4) During the writing of the thesis, the change and growth of the researcher empower me to help and influence other gay people and their parents, which is an augmentation of the change level from an individual to a group. Finally, with these findings, I re-examined the issue of coming out and realized that the idea of coming out or staying in the closet being the cause of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship is an erroneous attribution, which leads to avoidance of responsibility. The emphasis should be put on "relationship" in terms of how to strengthen the bonds and bring the relationship closer, as what really worth our efforts is the parent-child relationship itself and cultivation of the ability of amending a dysfunctional parent-child relationship.