| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立臺北教育大學 === 心理與諮商學系碩士班 === 101 === In this dissertation, I attempt to apply the self-narrative method to describe my own loving experience. Then, thinking the relationship between Otaku culture and love experience, through this research process. Finally, constructing the self-identity from the entire context.
I position myself as an Otaku, and take the narcissism as the main theme to describe the alienation state of Otaku in order to rethink the reality predicament through the experience of chasing love. In the end of narrative, the content turns from the harsh paternity to the mourning process of losing mother, and takes mourning as a core structure of breaking through the narcissistic state. This narrative displays that how my mind changes from the state of separation to integration. There are three steps of process: from misanthropic to caring; from affectless to feeling; from all along to understanding other.
After the narrative text, I try to interpret the whole experience by psychoanalysis view. In the first, I invoke the concept of narcissism in classic psychoanalysis view to describe how a man grows up with the series of narcissism, loving other, and then back to narcissism as self actualization. Secondly, the process keeps going over the Klien’s theory of two mental positions to represent the progress from splitting to integration. Finally, I mention the Bion’s thinking theory, pointing the importance of maternal function, and making self-thinking as the way which an Otaku should be. The whole process called as “Otaku maturity”.
In the end of dissertation, I make duel-identity as Otaku and Counseler, and find the core element for both- the ability of imagination and creation. The creation activity as Otaku’s self-identity. I plus my illustration works into the narrative content and point out that if Otaku make use of the ability of self-thinking which is able to be considered as the fundamental of creation. And our aim at creating a space for imagination to our society.
Keywords: Otaku, self-narrative, psychoanalysis, narcissism, mourning
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