| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立臺北護理健康大學 === 生死教育與輔導研究所 === 101 === Abstract
This study used narrative research method to explore a relationship of long-term lovers when they face their family’s opposite opinions to their relationships. The study also examined social contextualization, which may affect their relationships. Perspectives of the study were adopted from a married couple. They had been against by their family. The study used two methods, “Holistic-Content” and “Categorical-Content”, to analyze narrative data. The findings are as following:
When lovers face their family opposite opinions to their relationships, they would go through 5 stages, which consists of
1.“Growing affections”：family’s opposite opinions haven’t yet interfered in their relationships, and lovers growing their affections to each other become the important basis of facing their family’s opposite opinions to their relationship.
2.“Coping with difficulties”：family’s opposite opinions start to interfere in their relationships forcefully, and lovers confront family’s opposite opinions together through understanding, cherishing and appreciating to each other.
3.“Facing an inevitable test”：family’s opposite opinions continue to interfere, and lovers question their role-playing and seek for independence to make a decision in a relationship.
4.“Reflective adjustment”：the attitudes of family become softer, and lovers adjust their expectation towards their relationships and change their responding ways to family’s opinions.
5.“Reconstructing relationship”：family show their respects toward this
relationship, and lovers keep proper space to each other and reestablish new and flexible interaction with their family.
Facing family’ opposite opinions to their relationships, the long-term lover cope with : a) identification and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives, b)persistently making changes of family’s position on their relationships,
c) approving of lovers’ merits and values, changing family’s attitudes, d) transformation of external questioning into self-growth, e) balancing togetherness and autonomy, and f) establishing new connection. Besides, the keys to maintain lovers’ relationship are mutually adjusting and responding toward their expectation of relationship, and at the same time appreciating, cherishing and treasuring each other.
Family’s opposite opinions to development of lovers’ relationship are under social contextualization. Values of patriarchal society are main influences, including “parents’ protective and controlled love” and “material conditions. The top priority is: “a person with best college can marry a reputational family”.
The study findings provided some suggestions for future research and gave helpers some advice.
Key words：family conflicts、long-term relationship、intimate relationship、social contextualization
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