| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立臺北大學 === 社會工作學系 === 100 === There are three families in my life, they are not the same in atmosphere, and each one has its unique image. The first one is my original family. What an identity I have in this family was a little girl. When I talked about myself, I had my own language. I disobeyed and possessed my freedom in this family. Then I grow up and became a social worker. Since I worked in the placement institute, it became my second family. I spent a lot of time in this family. It was not but almost my home. Children in this family are always told: this is your home. In this second family, I had my language, but I also use the language of social work framework and the language of faith. Three languages of them were mixed.
Somehow I left my second family. I became a mother and entered the third family at the same time. I was told that I’m the part of this family although I didn’t have real relationship with anyone except my husband and daughter. I also convinced myself to believe that. Sometimes I doubted it, and then I memorized my second family: my clients, my friends. Now I don’t have to recognize them with social work framework. So I wrote some stories about them in my perspective.
When I wrote about my third family, I found out that: the third family is similar with the second one in many aspects, such as much interaction. And they all made us want to escape, they all made us hesitate, they all made us have emotional entanglement. Sometimes I abided from God telling myself I have to obey. Sometimes I returned to myself declaring that I want to practice my subjectivity. Since I entered the third family, I couldn’t keep the same attitude toward faith, social work, clients and myself. My world changed, it seemed that I was marginalized. I realized the relationship between God and me is more likely to be competitive, not peaceful. The research is about my subjectivity moving from these three families. Finally I found out and recognized God has subjectivity too. The competition between God and me will last.
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