A Study on the Adjustment Process of Intimate Relationship of Individuals Being Aware of the Discrepancy Between the Image of an Ideal Partner and the Perception of the Real Partner

• Main Authors: Hu, Fang-chi, 胡芳綺
• Other Authors: 蔡順良
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2011
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/sq5a8f

碩士 === 國立臺灣師範大學 === 教育心理與輔導學系 === 100 === This study aimed to explore the adjustment process of intimate relationship of the individuals who had been aware of the discrepancy between the image of an ideal partner and the perception of the real partner in early relationship development stage and had gradually adjusted themselves to be satisfied with the present intimate relationship. By adopting the purposive sampling method, this study had selected three adults whose relationship was begun at the age between 23 and 27 years old as the research subject to conduct in-depth interviews to understand the formulation of their image of an ideal partner and their adjustment process of the discrepancy between their ideal and real partner. Moreover, through the holistic-content analysis and categorical-content analysis, the data of the three participants were analyzed, and subsequently the cross-case discussion and analysis also conducted. The research results of this study are listed as follows: 1.The influential factors of the formulation of the image of an ideal partner included: family experience, self image, past intimate relationship, social network, and social culture. 2.For those individuals whose real partner could not match for their image of an ideal partner in early relationship stage, their image of an ideal partner would then come up to his/her mind to affect their intimate relationship in the following situations: (1)The image of an ideal partner would come up in a low-quality relationship such as the early development stage and the conflict stage of the relationship, or in a relationship with low commitment and other contestants. (2)The image of an ideal partner would come up to play the roles of selecting, evaluating and interpreting their partner, and facilitating their own adjustment or the change of their partner. (3)The image of an ideal partner would have the most significant negative impact on the relationship when the individuals felt neglected by their partner. (4)The image of an ideal partner would give the individuals unrealistic expectations for a partner, and they would have more negative emotions from comparing the ideal partner to the real one and also tended to doubt about the appropriateness of the relationship. Contrarily, those successfully adjusted individuals could focus on the present and reduced their negative emotions by reducing comparison, hence a relationship with higher commitment. (5)The strategies that the successfully adjusted individuals would adopt to cope with the discrepancy between the ideal and the real partner included: “admire and accept the real partner by adopting positive and diverse perspectives”, “self-observed, self-reflected and self-adjusted”, “increase the flexibility of the image of an ideal partner”, “try to change partner from time to time, but not too insistent”, “well manage self-emotions”, “communicate with partner in a mature way”, “believe in the spiritual power and fate”, and “modify the image of the ideal partner”. (6)Those successfully adjusted individuals may experience some important turning points, including: “trust in the partner’s engagement in the relationship”, “the personal relationship needs from early experience have been gratified”, “cut off the links between partner’s behaviors and past negative relationship experiences”, “a stable or evaluated self-esteem”, “temporally solve the long distance problem and the communication and intimacy has increased”, and “great change of life and the promise and assignment of significant others”. (7)In the adjustment process, the internal and external factors that would affect the individuals’ adjustment of intimate relationship included: personal adjustment factors, relationship protection factors, social network factors, social culture factors, and environment factors. 3.In the adjustment process, the intimate relationship would also have an impact on the image of an ideal partner, resulting a circling adjustment process. The successfully adjusted intimate relationship would reversely affect the image of an ideal partner in several ways, including: (1)Adjusted the importance of the connotation of the ideal partner image according to what advantages their real partner had. (2)Perhaps added their partner’s advantages to the image of an ideal partner. (3)Reinterpreted the discrepancy between the ideal partner image and the real partner in a positive way. Finally, according to the research results, this study has offered several suggestions for those people who are in the situation of having a partner that is significantly different from their ideal type, intimate relationship workers, and future researchers.