| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立政治大學 === 心理學研究所 === 99 === Previous studies treat ignoring like one type of relationship aggression. However ignoring and ending the relationship happen in close friendships. From the relationship aggression point of view , there is no explanation why the actor feels pain and guilt in this situation.
In interpersonal conflict the people who place importance on the relationship can not easily confront it but rather let the conflict become implicit. Not to damage the relationship directly but to ignore the target is one way of coping with conflict. Ignoring passes on an unsatisfied feeling silently. This study used the dynamic model of interpersonal harmony and conflict to explore ignoring. 13 participants were interviewed to report their own ignoring experiences.
The results showed that the ignoring process is a practice in how to balance the I-Thou psychological distance and it affects future intimate relationships. Close friendships in adolescence are high support relationships but can be unstable. Due to obscure role obligation, causes of conflict in these relationships include “unwittingly harm”,” inequitable affections”, “anger transferring”, and ”more independent space”. In addition to all of these hidden conflicts are illegitimate reasons. Also, the cultural drive to maintain harmony results in a dilemma where acting out hurts the other but not acting out hurts oneself.
There were four results after this “stuck in the mud” period. If the conflict stayed vague, the relationship entered into superficial harmony, where the closeness of the relationship was decreased. If the conflict grew, the resulting relationship was broken. If there was a chance to communicate clearly and express each other’s value in the relationship, the resulting relationship entered into genuine harmony. The last result was an unfinished situation due to the high affection in adolescent friendship. Even though there was no longer contact, these people did not easily identify the end of the relationship. This suggests, the results after ignoring are not all negative. However from the relationship aggression point of view, positive results cannot be found.
Thus, this research suggests using the the interpersonal and harmony views to explore ignoring and it is suggested that understanding the ignoring situation is more effective than blocking it in practice.
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