A Study on the Changes in Relationship of Traditional Chinese Eldest Son and Father After the Mother’s Death with the System Perspective

• Main Authors: Chang Chih-hung, 張志宏
• Other Authors: 吳秀碧
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2010
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/99278027215898820700

碩士 === 國立彰化師範大學 === 輔導與諮商學系所 === 98 === The purposes of this research were to investigate the changes in relationship of traditional Chinese eldest son and his father before and after the death of mother with the system perspective, to understand the role of the Chinese eldest son affects parent-child relationship by using the perspective of culture context, and to explore family members’ grief and meaning reconstruction after the death of mother. This research based on “hermeneutics” and “time sequence” to explore a family which of mother died with cancer. After two years of mother’s death, the researcher interviewed father, son and daughter for the first time. And after one year of first interviewed, the researcher interviewed once again to understand the changes of father-son relationship in the family system. The result showed that the changes in relationship of traditional Chinese eldest son and his father experiencing the following six stages before and after the death of mother: “relationship alienation”, “parent-child triangulation”, “dissolution of triangulation”, “new parent-child triangulation”, “struggling and hesitating” and “conflict avoidance”. Because of the Chinese traditional culture, the father disciplined his eldest son so strictly that their relationship became estranged. However, with the expectation of traditional gender role in family, the mother became the key person of affection relationship and the parent-child triangulation with father-son relationship was formed. After the mother’s death, the dissolution of triangulation brought father-son relationship to an alienation. Due to the differences of grief process between each family members, family reorganization and the expectation of traditional gender role in family, the daughter filled the absence of mother’s role to stabilized the new triangulation with father-son relationship. When father and son had intense conflict, she used the relative resources to construct the multiple triangulation. Experiencing the struggle between traditional mothering role and modern female self-identification, the daughter determined to leave the triangulation with father-son relationship. However, father had new intimate relationship that made son conflicting with him to protect the status of dead mother. Although they tried to repair their relationship after the daughter’s leaving, the father-son relationship became estranged again after three years of mother’s death. The son struggled for showing filial piety, and the father disappointed that his son would not show filial piety to him. When their relationship unable to repair and they still had to live together, the father-son relationship changed to a peaceful but avoidant situation. Both of them expect that future daughter-in-law may try to repair their father-son relationship when the son get married. Finally, the researcher discusses the above findings based on the triangulation changing in the family system, the Chinese culture context, and grief process. After discussion, the researcher also provides suggestions for further study, and for people who work in the counseling field.