Hovering between the scales--- the story of seeking self by narrative

• Main Authors: Cho, YA-FANCHO, YA-FANG, 卓雅芳
• Other Authors: CHENG, LIN-LIN
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2009
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/16590275443878450495

碩士 === 國立臺北大學 === 社會工作學系 === 97 === The thesis is about a female who narrated a life story of her own, and the story is recording a 30 year-old Christian feminine life experience. In the beginning of the story, we read about her self-suspicion, who cannot see herself, but how finally she finds her true self. I am a traditional Christian female who is just in the age to get married, and is pursuing my dream to be a social worker. Meanwhile, I carry the traditional burden on my back carefully and quietly. I face the issues such as what are the traditional feminine standard, the Christian rules, and the frame of specialized social work. Therefore, I likely walk back and forth in the scales between both sides. I am experiencing a lot of contradictory and pain. In paces of back and forth, I cannot see myself, all I can do is merely in vain and confused life without verbal words. But this silence is not long-time, because I decided to emit my sound by words, and to exploring my own life from many contradictory and pain. During literal words, I found gradually that I used to the grievance and laying my eyes on others only. I attempted starting to seek for myself from my mother's story; surprisingly, I met a different mother in the story. This new discovery has made me create new judgment on my mother. Moreover, I found unexpectedly love of my mother for me during my mother's story. Linking with my mother's story and my life story, I entered the life I have forgotten, and sought for Initial and real self. Also in the process I inspected, cleaned and renewed my life. At the end, I finally understood my truly self, and I get the power to push myself to go forward. This thesis has recorded the process for how I have changed and turned from having no confidence to getting great confidence. The process to achieve my goal has made me meet my inner self and discovered an ideal solution of my view to this wonderful world. I can finally say that I am ready to be myself and I am well-prepared to play my role for those who need me to be with them. I am going to carry my power of love to bring people a bright future with all my efforts.