| Summary: | 碩士 === 朝陽科技大學 === 幼兒保育系碩士班 === 95 === 12 years ago, before leaving the after-school care center I worked for, I made a promise in mind to the children in the farewell party. However, such initial motivation of becoming a teacher led me to suffer disturbance. I had to pretend to be a studious person and diligently sought expertise, even if I knew that my inner nature was resisting the pressures from school works. It was not until I was seriously frustrated in one teacher selection exam and faced problems when trying to devote my educational love to child-care center that I had to force myself to abandon the ambition of being a teacher. At the time I felt regretful for my fruitless dedication and immersed in the conflict between ideal and reality. The causes and conditions had existed, but the life started its self-narrative.
Thus, the initial motivation was the divider of this study. From 1971 to 1994, the experience in which every step upward required efforts was disclosed; from 1995 to 2007, the challenges along the way of education were lighted upon and described as trials of demons. With the sudden death of my father, the sense of impermanence enhanced my spirituality and guided me to change my attitude from criticizing the outer environment to repenting my own sin. I realized that to repent, realize, and search for my own mission was the correct path I had to take.
Finally, I perceived that the hardships along the way of education were all prepared for me to accomplish the mission of life. Besides, as analyzed in Chapter 4, the desire of fame and wealth dusted over the initial motivation; the personal prejudice would not help things run smoothly; the pride was hard to be reined; and perfectionism could not allow tolerance. So, all kinds of personal sins should be reflected upon first before I could realize that the initial motivation should come from “the love for children.” Although the moment could not be seized and the thought of giving up occurred to me several times, as I found that fame and wealth could not be gained or that sufferings still lasted, the basis of the mission still lay in “accompanying disadvantaged children.” As soon as I realized it was my duty and task that I needed to fulfill, I knew better about the persistence of never giving up. These hardships were ordeals for me to refine my abilities to be a good teacher, and once I have obtained required abilities, I would follow predecessors’ steps and guide the successors.
Under such circumstances, the greatness of dharma was perceived, and it liberated me from ignorance to accomplish self-transcendence. In this way, I could realize the vision of my initial motivation and witness the dharma joy of happiness in life.
|
|---|
