The Past Love in Between-Narrative of Lesbian''s Love

• Main Authors: Hsiao-Chuan Chao, 趙曉娟
• Other Authors: Su-Jean Hong
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2006
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/89614035077853409132

碩士 === 淡江大學 === 教育心理與諮商研究所碩士班 === 94 === This paper discussed various aspects of the love progress in lesbian, and there are two major courses: love connotation and love progress. The former one is divided to love values, attraction, and flesh inclination; and the latter one is divided to understanding and choice, romance of love, conflicts in relationship, parting and reflection after reviewing love. Leading everybody to know how a lesbian develops the first love between female sexes, and understand her inner flesh development and viewpoint toward love. It is discovered that the three leading characters of the story never have love with different sex; however, flesh is naturally developed and the identification of flesh is the accumulation of a series of progress, and the objective that attracted oneself is always seeking another idea oneself. From the object-relations theory, individual projects illusion to put a part of oneself to the body of another’s, and attempts to control that one internally, whereas the projected one would be induced to complete the projected illusion to reduce the inner anxiety of the individual; under such an interaction system, both parties could not know and interact with each other realistically. In the progress of seeking love by the lovers, a favorable position and network are possible ways for them to know each other. Before advancing from friendship to love, what are the struggling and choice inside their hearts? Who shall be the first female to act positively? For not losing this person, shall she decides to let go herself to try a love of same sex, or exchanging views with each other to break existing inflexible impressions; how the two females that attract each other to make sure they are going to be together? A kiss of promise, a meal of promise or the occurrence of sexual relationship; maybe rituals could be varied, but the assured inner feeling is the essential. The ideal objective image projected during the stage of romantic love facilitates lovers to have the desire to combine together. Females are encouraged to learn interpersonally; therefore, in the love of two women, maybe it is more common to have the need to stick together; this stage could flash back to the symbiotic stage between baby and mother; there is no division of emotion between self and some other person. Consequently, the dependence on expecting to be very close between each other would lose self feeling gradually, and turn to the transition of relationship at last, which is the individualized progress – the desire to advance to separate from symbiotic stage. When the true aspects of the lover appeared one after another, the conflicts in relationship would increase with the extension of interactive time. Both lovers would “recall” the libido and offensive ego inside of them simultaneously in their interaction progress in order to prevent the conflict between the external virtual objects and ideal objects, which could result in the inner feeling of losing control; and the failure feeling caused by partial depression of the ego rejected by self but thirst for the intimate felling not satisfied. For reducing the inner anxiety feeling, the individual turns the inner frustration and attack to the other party, and also feel self-blamed and guilt at the same time. When conflict is circulated and mates could not face it with responsible communication and mature defensive system, parting would be occurred at certain conflict or crisis between each other. Parting is an experience of losing, and the passive party would experience more depression, lonely and angry. There are seven stages in the failure of love concluding from the interviewing data: from the proving in the beginning to parting, denying, grieving, angry, seeking for support and rehabilitation; the length of this progress has to be determined according to the time for individual to involve in love, parting way and rehabilitation ability of individual.