| Summary: | 碩士 === 慈濟大學 === 社會工作研究所 === 94 === This is an exploration of my experience in the area of foreign aid, which reflected the pattern of my life looking for a place where I might belong. While Humanitarianism emphasized as the spirit of foreign aid was regarded by me as an ideal that I put my whole life to achieve, Humanitarian played an important role in naming my self and constructing my self-identity. It had been a process of pursing fantasies which could hardly be aware of and would be endless, till I was situated and willing to confront it’s fantastic nature which had inevitably occurred at the very beginning of my life based on Lacan’s mirror phase theory. Since the mirror phase, I has turned my back to my self and identified my self with what I have been learning from my world. I thus did not know that I never encountered my self. The journey of looking for a home-like place outside my self to settle down my self brought me even farther away from the very home, my self, and into the endless circle of homelessness, the destiny of the modern people according to Heidegger. Nevertheless, Foucault’s late work on the technologies of the self reminds me the way less traveled back to one’s self.
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