| Summary: | 碩士 === 慈濟大學 === 人類學研究所 === 93 === Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) has been labeled as a disease linked with death, punishment, filthiness and sin. People with human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) have been tarnished and discriminated against and have had to contend with fears of exposure and rejection by others. People living with HIV/AIDS felt undeserving of an intimate relationship due to their low self-esteem. Individuals however have experienced support and care through love and have been given the drive to go on with the rest of their lives. The conflict between cultural condemnation and the need for love has resulted in many people with HIV finding it difficult to develop intimate relationships. The purposes of this study were to explore the experiences and attitudes of intimacy among gay men with HIV, and to elucidate the complexity of culture, love and sexuality. Participate observation and in-depth interviews were conducted with 13 gay men who redeveloped or resumed their intimacy after learning their HIV-positive status. The study found that gay men with HIV considered love and sex were two essential elements of intimacy. Moreover, love meant to spend a long time in mutual activities, to share minds and secrets, and to care and take care of each other. Gay men with HIV however had encountered three main issues while developing their intimate relationship: 1) the anxiety of whether his partner had been infected, 2) whether or not to give up this relationship; and 3) whether or not to disclose their infection to their partner. Sex acts as an essential ingredient in an intimate relationship and it furthers intimacy. However, sex is also a channel to transmit with HIV. This study found that sex and love were in conflict and against each other. Moreover, gay men with HIV hid their identities due to the stigma of AIDS while love pushed them to disclose themselves. Culture drove gay men with HIV to give up their intimacy but love made them eager to close to their partner. Given such conflicts between culture, love and sexuality, gay men with HIV suffered difficulty in their intimate relationship. This study contended that worries of spreading the HIV virus to their partners would never be eliminated as long as the stigma of AIDS continued to exist. Only a land without AIDS discrimination would eliminate barriers to people with HIV developing intimate relationships.
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